The Break-up Scene

“Knowing me, knowing you
There is nothing we can do
Knowing me, knowing you
We just have to face it; this time we’re through
Breaking up is not easy to do, but I have to go
Knowing me, knowing you
It’s the best I can do”

-Benny Andersson, Björn Ulvaeus, Stig Anderson


I guess I should start off this post with a couple of confessions. Number one: I heart Abba. A lot. Number two: I often imagine my life as a movie. I think about what genre it would be: romantic comedy, drama, musical, action (probably not), documentary (only if i become famous). I conjure up the background music, I try to decide which scenes would be edited out, and choose which actors would play me and the other people in my life. I like to think that I haven’t reached the climax yet.

A few weeks ago, I decided that I needed to break up with Jack. It actually wasn’t a difficult decision, it suddenly became very clear to me that this was the best option, for many reasons. Actually carrying it out, however, was the difficult part. I realized that I had never broken up with a guy in person before. Extenuating circumstances, as in I was in Chile and didn’t have the money or time for a plane ticket, lead to a breakup over Skype with my Salvadoran boyfriend in 2007. It was only the second time that I actually did the breaking up, and it wasn’t a mutual agreement.

I thought about what to say. I practiced out loud. I ran it by my friends, both guys and girls. I expressed that it would just be easier for me to say “I want to break up. The end,” without giving any reasons. My guy friend advised that this was not a good idea.

So I did it. It was unpleasant, but not horrendous.

Then a few days later I was listening to some music, in the middle of a cleaning frenzy in my apartment, and the song quoted above came on. And I knew, that if my life were made into a musical, that this would be the perfect song for the break up scene of a few weeks ago.

I’ve been listening to the song a lot since then (after all, it is Abba, and extremely catchy). It’s a bit strange, because it’s not entirely pleasant to re-visit a break up scene over and over. But I think it’s somehow comforting knowing that Abba knew exactly how I was feeling about this break-up. It’s not because we hated each other, it’s just that we are too different to make it work.

And who knows, maybe down the road, as my life unfolds, this scene won’t even make it into the final cut.


6 thoughts on “The Break-up Scene

  1. >Your life as a movie. Funny, mine has always been a play… Good for you for maintaining control over the script and being the director of your personal movie!So what's ABBA got to accompany the next scene?

  2. >Yes "Charlie Tuna" (aka Dad), ABBA is quite catchy. In fact I decided to listen to them that day in honor of your trip with Mom to see Mamma Mía!Margaret: Hmm, I don't know what is next, hopefully "Take a Chance on Me" or "A Man After Midnight" hahahaha!!

  3. Pingback: The ups and downs of 2011 « Abby's Line

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