>Let it go

>I thank my lucky stars every day that my work day starts at 9:30 and that I live only three metro stops away from work. The difference between the metro at 9:15 am and 8:15 am is like night and day. At 9:15, when the trains arrive at my stop, I can comfortably get on and I don’t even have to share my square meter with anyone (remember those ads from the beginning days of Transantiago? Comparte tu metro cuadrado. Haha.). At 8:15 am, it’s almost impossible to get on a train.

Today I had to go do some visa tramites (not mine again, thank God) and therefore left my apartment earlier than normal. I was waiting for the metro at around 8:15am. I let one train go by without even trying to get on because it was so full. The next one that came looked a little more promising, plus more people were getting off. As soon as I saw my opportunity, I tried to get on the train, which was still very crowded. Just in that moment, another woman rushed in and took my spot, jostling me to the side and into another woman. I was standing precariously in the crack between the train and the platform, and tried to back into the train to avoid falling on my face. In the process, I bumped into the second woman again, then quickly realized I wasn’t going to get on this train either, so I stepped back onto the platform. In that instant, the woman I had bumped into took the opportunity to start to complain about how I lacked manners and how did it ever occur to me to push her like that.

I was infuriated. I mean, yes, I pushed her. But I’m sorry, you’re on the metro at 8:15am, lady, you’re GOING TO GET PUSHED. It’s inevitable. And plus, I was almost going to fall onto my face, so I’m sorry if you got pushed in the process. Cry me a river. (How do you say that in Spanish?)

Then, after my mini mind rant (because I don’t think quick enough on my feet to ever say a retort like that in the moment, which is probably a good thing), I realized:

I just need to let it go. She’s just a silly woman in a bad mood.

It’s hard for me, though, to forget about even little things like this. Deep down, I’m very sensitive and care a lot about what other people think of me (even complete strangers).

I know I need to work on growing a thicker skin, because I’m very sensitive to even constructive criticism. Today my boss told me two things to help me write better in Spanish, which I appreciate so much because I need the help, but even so, there was a tiny part of me that felt stung. I think it’s also related to the part of me that is such a perfectionist.

Anyway, I guess it’s just something I need to work on, because despite being a perfectionist, I know that I’m far from perfect.

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