>I’ve been thinking a lot about weddings lately. No, I don’t have any prospects, and for all I know I’ll never get married (you know, it takes two people to do that kind of thing, and for now I’m only one). However, my host brother is getting married tomorrow and so I started thinking about who I would invite to my very hypothetical wedding.
Of course I imagined who I would invite if I got married here in Chile, then I imagined about who I would invited if I got married in the US. Then I imagined who I would invite if all of my friends and family were millionaires and could travel wherever. It’s a daydream, I’m allowed to do that kind of thing.
But, back to the Chile wedding fantasy. If I got married here, I would definitely invite my host brother and his soon-to-be wife. Out of everyone in my host family, I’m probably the least close with him, but I still consider him to be family in many ways.
So here’s the catch. I wasn’t invited to his wedding. I went to my host sister’s wedding when I wasn’t even living here. I was here visiting for January of my senior year of college, and she happened to be getting married then, and she invited me and I went. She even sent me an invitation in the U.S. For this reason, and because I’ve been told by my host parents and especially host mom that they consider me family, I thought I’d be invited to his wedding. Also, I thought I’d be invited because his fiance sent me her codigo de novias, which is a code you can give at the major department stores here so that the couple gets points towards a hotel stay.* I even used the codiga de novias a couple of times. Plus, here in Chile, weddings are known to be GIGANTIC. You invite everyone you’ve ever talked to plus their uncle. Oh, and not to mention that every time I’ve visited my host family in the past five months all the talk has been about the wedding. How could they talk about it in front of me and not invite me?
At first I didn’t really feel bad about it, but now that the big day is tomorrow, I’m feeling kind of sad and rejected. At first I rationalized that it was maybe going to be a small wedding, so that’s why. But it’s not a small wedding. I’m friends with a lot of my host brother’s friends who will all be going, many of whom probably assume I’ll be there. In fact, I owe one of them some money and we were trying to arrange how I could pay him back. He told me I could give it to him tomorrow at the wedding. I had to tell him that I wasn’t invited and it all kind of hit me.
So anyway, I’m trying really hard to not have this affect me very much. I still love my host family and I won’t hold it against them, but it stings. I also don’t feel comfortable bringing it up with them, so I’ll never know why.
*To be completely honest, I’m not exactly sure what the etiquette on this is. Maybe in Chile it’s considered acceptable to give your codigo de novias to people you aren’t inviting to your wedding. However, I feel like it’s similar to giving someone in the US your bridal registry then not inviting them to the wedding.