>Brought to you by Transantiago

>On Thursday, Transantiago raised its prices again. Micro rides are now $480 pesos, normal hour metro rides (or any combination with a metro) are $500 and peak hours on the metro now cost $560 pesos. When I first arrived in Santiago in 2007, right before the institution of Transantiago, it cost $380 pesos for the micro/metro and $420 for peak hours on the metro.

In honor of their price increase, Transantiago decided to sponsor some downright strange events aboard their vehicles, starring a crazy old homeless man, many inebriated fellows and one creepy guy with me, a micro driver and some onlookers in supporting roles

Act One: Crazy Homeless Man
Scene: Micro 503 on Providencia, around 12:30 PM. I am standing near the front, looking bored, wondering how long the line at Servipag will be.

Enter Crazy Homeless Man. CHM takes a wet dirty shoe out of his bag and then takes some soggy 1000 peso bills out of the shoe. I space out, wondering if I’ll have time to eat lunch today.

CHM: Conshe***** cul**** por qué ch***** me estaí mirando?

I look around to see who he’s talking to. Realize he’s talking to me. Realize I may have spaced out in his general direction.

CHM: *&$(CHM: *&$($&@)@)!&(@*!!!

CHM starts advancing towards me and I look around to see if anyone is going to help me. Some old women look at each other and a guy with headphones in yawns. I have to get off soon anyway, so I move towards the exit.

CHM: &!^@%#^+#*@&

Bus driver realizes what is happening and stops the bus, comes back and makes CHM get off the bus.

Me: Gracias.
Busdriver: No hay de que. Hay que respetar a las señoritas.

I think, don’t we have to respect everyone? But ok. I get off the bus at the next stop and wait 40 minutes in line at the ServiPag.

Act Two: Flaites Curados

Scene: Metro Line One, Direction San Pablo, 8:00 PM. I am on a crowded train somewhere near the door. I smell stale alcohol. Three young men behind me speak in coa and are obviously inebriated.

Flaite 1: Santa Lucia, bajamos ahi y nos tomamos la micro (unintelligible)
Flaite 2: No (unintelligible) bajamos en Baquedanos y tomamos la linea 5 (unintelligible)
Flaite 3: (Unintelligible, but something about some girl on the train, vulgar)

I look towards the area between cars to see if I can move away from these guys. They give me the creeps and smell like booze. The train stops at Salvador and I begin to move away from them.

Flaite 1: Adone vai linda? Tan linda, tan preciosa.
Flaite 2: Uuuuy siiii. Que rrrrrica la rubiacita.
Flaite 3: Sí, mira que sonría un poco. Iwal le gusta.

I do not smile one bit and successfully move a bit away. The flaites keep talking about me.

Onlooker 1: Dején de huevearla, por dios que son desubicaos.
Flaite 2: (Unintelligible, but something vulgar about Onlooker 1)

Thankfully, they decide to get off at Baquedano and take Line 5 to wherever they were going.

Act Three: Drunken Rowdiness to Really Bad Flute in B flat.


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