Please don’t interpret this as a woe-is-me post. I’m just venting, and I do that best through writing.
My friends are slowly starting to leave, and I’m facing what Lydia recently wrote about. Ex-pats have the never-ending problem of getting close to gringo friends only to have them eventually decide to move home. I mean this isn’t the case 100% of the time, but it is a common occurrence.
So Friday was the goodbye party for a friend who leaves on Monday. It was at Bar Esquina in Vitacura. If only I had a car, I’d go there more often. It had a great vibe, but man was it far away! Luckily I got a ride home with some friends because that would have been one expensive taxi ride.
Two other friends are leaving in May, and E., who is probably my closest gringa friend here, is leaving sometime this winter. R. and her boyfriend want to leave by the end of the year. I’m going to be left all alone, or forced to make new friends who will then inevitably leave.
Yes, I could make more Chilean friends. And in fact, I made a new Chilean friend Friday night at L’s despedida (Hola C.! Mira…cumpliste la promesa!). But there is just something so comforting about being friends with other gringos who understand your situation. My friends get me. Plus it’s hard for me to make friends with Chilean women, and there are just some things I can’t talk about with my Chilean guy friends.
Or, I could go home too. The thought has crossed my mind multiple times. I don’t really have a set plan for how long I’m going to stay here. But I feel like I’m not done with Chile. I like my life here and after the earthquake, I feel an even stronger connection to my adopted country. After my friends leave, however, my quality of life could and may well change. I guess I’ll just have to wait and see how I feel. Although for someone who has always had her life very together and planned out, this “waiting and seeing” is a bit hard to take sometimes.