Scatterbrained nitwits, apply within

Let’s just get this over with: I’m no Susy Homemaker. I will never live up to my mother’s or grandmothers’ abilities in the kitchen or when it comes to scrubbing toilets or mopping floors. That being said, I do like a clean house and once in a while I get what I call the “cleaning bug” and madly clean everything. Last night the cleaning bug bit, and I started a mad frenzy of sweeping, mopping, dish-washing and toilet scrubbing.

I had just finished cleaning the bathtub and moved on to the mirror. I took out the Windex (well, not really Windex, but Limpiavidrios Multiusos) and then went to get some paper towels from the kitchen. I came back, and sprayed on the Windex and started wiping it down. The mirror was really gross so I sprayed on more Windex. Instead of getting cleaner, the mirror was getting dirtier. White streaks were forming everywhere. Annoyed, I sprayed on more Windex, only to see more white streaks appear. What the heck??? I thought. Then I noticed my nose was stinging. Then I tried to breathe in and couldn’t. I looked down to what I had in my hand and realized it was the cleaner I had been using for the bathtub.

I dropped the cleaner and ran like a madwoman out to my terraza to try to breath in fresh air. I had obviously created some kind of chemical reaction with the Windex plus bathtub cleaner (ammonia plus chlorine, perhaps?) My nose was still stinging, and then started to run. I plugged my nose, went and grabbed my computer, and called my dad to ask him when it would be okay to go back in the bathroom. I didn’t want to faint from the fumes. He assured me that all the chemicals had probably dissipated by then, so I should be fine to go in and continue using the Windex to clean the mirror.

So while this little incident certainly doesn’t showcase me at my finest moment, it’s not that horrible. I mean, anyone could accidentally¬†cause a chemical reaction while cleaning. Right? RIGHT? Well, not that horrible, that is, until I tell you what happened a few hours before. I should preface this story by saying that I have a very bad short-term memory and I get distracted ver….hey look something shiny!

What was I saying? Oh yeah. I get distracted easily. Sometimes I go into the bathroom to go pee, and I see some nail polish, so I go out and paint my toenails and then wonder why a half an hour later I still have to go pee. It’s a problem. But anyway, I got home from work yesterday and went to take some ibuprofen. On the table next to the pills was a bag of peanuts. I thought, “Hmm, I’d like to eat some peanuts,” so I took out a handful of peanuts, then with my empty hand, poked out an ibuprofen from the packet. I ate the peanuts and realized that I needed some water to take the pill. However, for some reason I went into the bedroom first and forgot about the water. I then felt something in my hand. Oh! I forgot to eat a peanut, I thought, and tossed it into my mouth and bit down. NOT A PEANUT NOT A PEANUT!!! It was the ibuprofen pill. DISGUSTING.

The moral of the story? Well, I guess there is no moral, besides despite being a somewhat intelligent, well-educated human being, when it comes to common sense and daily tasks, I act like a scatterbrained dimwit. At least I can laugh at myself though!



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