>8-19-04

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I don’t know why I am the way I am, but most of the time I wish I was different. I wish I were more outgoing and fun and that people would want to be around me. I want to change, but I don’t want it to be artificial. I mean I still want to be me...Anyway, I’m glad to go to college to maybe be able to make some changes in myself. Or even better, to find someone who accepts me the way I am.

I found my journal from high school last night. It was really interesting reading it all again. I can say that my grammar has improved a bit! But more seriously, I think I have found the happiness that I was searching for that summer after my senior year. I think I have changed a bit, but not artificially, just in the way that everyone changes through life experiences that mold us to be who we are. Most importantly, I have forged great friendships with people who (I think) want to be around me and who accept me the way I am. It’s going to be tough staying in touch now that we are all (literally) scattered throughout the globe, but I’m not too worried.

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